Living outside the illusion called life first requires an understanding that everything we experience actually resides in a small gray mass of buttery like tissue we call the brain, and does not actually exist outside of us. What we think of as “out there”, like traffic, trees, people, jobs, stores etc. are actually perceptions that are formed by millions of electrical impulses in our brain. It is based on what our senses have previously collected and then programmed into our complex neural network. The key point here is “programmed into our complex neural network” because this is the basis for how we see the world and influences all of the experiences that we have ever had.
A police officer takes eyewitness accounts from as many people as possible when investigating an accident or crime, because the officer knows that everyone will have a different viewpoint and everyone’s perspective is needed to find out what really happened. Somewhere in all the different viewpoints, the truth of what actually happened exists.
We view the world through preset lenses.
We all view the world differently and yet our experiences are similar enough to support the illusion that things are happening “outside” of us. It is definitely not, and science supports this. There was an experiment done with photons done back in the 1920’s called the double slit experiment and this showed that the physical universe is actually made up of energy waves and only becomes visible particles (what we perceive to be reality) when it is observed by a conscious being.
Crazy stuff, but how does this information help us in our daily life? Well, we have been programmed to perceive reality from a material or physical perspective so this is how we see life – solid and difficult to change, but our true reality is of a quantum nature, where everything is actually energy. Once we understand this fully, we realize that we have a lot more control over what we are experiencing than previously thought. Life then takes on another dimension! We begin to experience life as it was truly meant to be! A life lived moment to moment, with incredible clarity about what is possible, joy in the adventure of creation and fulfillment from achieving what used to be impossible!
New Life begins with understanding.
Your new life begins with understanding that you are not your mind, and science tells us that the mind is the brain in action. So you have a brain that has been uniquely programmed with everything you have experienced in your life and the use of a mind that is unique to you. It is the most powerful calculating and reasoning tool on the planet, with the ability to sort out, organize and implement anything – including a life designed to fulfill your heart’s desire! It just needs specific guidance (programming) to follow your lead. The specifics of what makes you happy are based on what you value personally and those values are ultimately based on your beliefs, fears, passions, and desires. These things are what has been programmed into your consciousness since you were born and even before you were born with genetic coding. This is the illusion I am referring to The old programs that we live our lives by. The bottom line is that we are in control of our thoughts and we can think of any thoughts we want. We just have to be aware of the thoughts that we think.
One of the best ways to see ourselves is through our relationships. Relationships are the most effective tool we have for pushing aside the veil hiding our unconscious thoughts and providing us with an up-close and personal look at what actually is going on inside of us. When we understand that relationships are just mirrors of our internal states of being, they become a powerful tool for expanding our awareness.
In reality, all of the experiences we have in all of our relationships are actually happening inside of us. The environment outside does not create that experience. We are actually creating that experience moment to moment inside our mind with our thoughts. The people in our lives are just triggers for inner experiences that have existed within us for a long time, well before those people entered our lives. That is why we tend to repeat the same experiences in life with different people and different relationships. By recognizing the things that show up within ourselves through relationships we realize they are just a reflection of the unconscious patterns within us. As we expand this awareness; we can actively use our relationships as tools to consciously transform ourselves. At the same time, we will expand our relationships into higher and mutually beneficial experiences.
Our Reactions Are the Key to Greater Awareness
It is especially important to be conscious of our reactions to others because in those reactions we have the most to learn about ourselves. Our mind reacts to some people’s behavior because it is unaware of the unconscious patterns that these people are showing us about ourselves. If we see and react to anger in another person, it is because anger exists within us. It may not be expressed in the same way as the person we are reacting to but somewhere, in some way, that same pattern exists within us. The closer the relationship, the more powerful the mirror is in amplifying our internal states.
When we realize that relationships are just mirrors that reflect our internal self, how can we blame anyone or anything outside of ourselves when they are just reflections of what lives inside of us that can help us recognize and heal old patterns? Often we blame others in close relationships for not meeting our needs when the person that is not meeting our needs – is ourselves. It is absurd to think that someone else can give us something that we lack within ourselves. We are the only ones truly capable of going within and doing the work to uncover the unconscious patterns running our life, bringing them into our conscious awareness and reprogramming those patterns to create a more uplifting and fulfilling life experience.
This practice brings a new level of accountability, along with a greater level of empowerment when we understand that we are the only ones truly in control of what we experience. After all who is actually controlling the thoughts within our own mind that are the basis for everything we experience.
As human beings, we all are driven to connect with each other in some way. To truly connect with another human being in a way that does not bring pain and suffering into our lives, it is crucial to connect through our higher states of being with love, joy, compassion, and inspiration instead of the negative states of fear, anger, survival, and control. But in order to do this, it requires taking the time and effort to recognize and “own” the internal destructive patterns that are controlling our unconscious mind before we can be in a relationship that is spirit-based and mutually fulfilling.
A spiritual relationship is a true partnership where each person is ultimately supporting each other in happiness and fulfillment. Blame and victimhood cannot exist in a relationship that is based on love, kindness, compassion and creative purpose. In a spirit-based relationship, two people serve each other in growth and awareness and by positive example ending up serving the world at large.
There are three aspects to every relationship – our part, the other person’s part and the relationship itself. We cannot be responsible for the other person’s part of the relationship. We can only be accountable and take responsibility for our part. When we are fully responsible, we rise above mental patterns and take full control of what we are experiencing and actually experience what love really is. As human beings, our single greatest desire is to love and be loved. The love that I am describing is not an emotional, conditional love, it is an unconditional life-affirming energy exchange that exists in every moment of every interaction that we have.
This article was inspired by the work of Joey Klein and his book The Inner Matrix – A Guide to Transforming Your Life and Awakening Your Spirit
The self-help world is abuzz with “The Power of Intention”, promoting the importance of focus to get what you want. It is true that if you focus on what you want for an extended period of time, (and do the necessary work) it usually shows up. But why does it work better for some people and not for others? It works better for those who understand that the “power of intention” is actually The Power of Clarity.
Being clear and specific about what we want is a key element to creating what we want in our lives. If we are not clear and specific, then our mind does not have the information necessary to recognize an opportunity even when right in front of us! Take the time to clearly define what you want, and it will show up quickly, usually in magical ways!
We have all had friends who have said they are unhappy with their life, but when we ask them what they want, they usually respond: “I don’t know!” Unfortunately, without clarity and the will to clearly define what we want, nothing will ever change.
Our mind is the vehicle that allows us to fully experience this 3-D reality we call life, so it is up to us to direct this “mind” in the direction we want. Since the brain/mind operates like a computer, it can only produce results based on what is inputted into it. It is our job to input the right information.
The Mind is a Filter
The mind is a filter, only allowing us to “see” things based on what has been programmed into it (our past experience). What we are experiencing now in the present is actually based on the past experiences we have had with parents, teachers, friends or when we are on our own.
This programming is the basis for how we operate both consciously and unconsciously. If we are not “consciously creating” by instilling new thoughts to define our future, we are destined to live in the past.
To create a new future is to become a different person, that thinks, feels and behaves differently than who we are today – essentially creating a new personality!
Take a moment to let this sink in:
Our thoughts are the basis for what we experience every moment of every day.
Science has proven that by the time we are 35 – 95% of what we think each day is a repeat of what we thought about the day before.
These thoughts are unconscious, imbedded neural networks of past experiences.
Because of this we experience the present, with a mind of the past reliving the same emotional experiences, even when the circumstances are different.
Changing Our Personality – Changes our Personal Reality
To change our personal reality, we have to change our personality, but to do so, we have to change how we think, feel and behave. This begins by becoming CONSCIOUS of everything that we think, feel and do. This begins with being aware of what we are thinking and why – every moment of every day!
The reason it is so hard to change, is because 95% of our thoughts (programs) are unconscious. To become aware of these unconscious thoughts, we have to question everything we do! This is mindfulness – to have conversations with our self and examine why we do what you do. If we are doing things that are not supportive of happiness and fulfillment, then we have to stop doing them, or nothing will change! This is why meditation is so valuable. This practice helps us go beyond our conscious mind and deal directly with the mind’s “operating system” of unconscious programs.
If you have tried to meditate in the past without success, (like me!) I suggest going online and find a guided meditation that you resonate with and let someone else guide your thoughts in a positive way. This can produce lasting change in your daily life and mental well-being.